How to Friend Again After Being Rejected

Evidently, nobody's entitled to a relationship/sexual practice with anyone else, but, if y'all've ever been rejected by anyone else, do y'all reckon it's OK to not want to exist friends with them later, or does information technology come up off as sour grapes?

Please vote on the poll Was talking about this with some friends the other day and saw a thread on it earlier, would be interesting to see what people remember

Personally I think it depends.

It depends on the dynamic between you two. If you've never been that close, what's the point? Motility on!
I've been in this state of affairs where I had dated someone for a month and they actually seem to accept strong feelings for me, so I suggested that we could be friends if he really thinks that he tin deal with that (not attempt to get with me over again) after some time autonomously.

I don't retrieve you should have to be civil or friendly with them after being rejected, after all they evidently don't think you are skilful enough for them even if information technology is just by not finding yous bonny (not being attractive enough for them)

that said if you lot were already friends prior to this, I'd assume you'd still be friends to some extent but it could make things awkward I guess

If I liked someone and idea I had a shot with them I probably wouldnt desire to stick around to meet them happy with someone else, merely that'southward just me

He/she just doesn't desire to appointment yous... why should that bear on your friendship with him/her?

Definitely sour grapes

(Original postal service past LukeM90)
I don't think you should have to be civil or friendly with them after being rejected, after all they manifestly don't remember y'all are proficient plenty for them even if it is simply past not finding you lot bonny (non beingness bonny enough for them)

that said if you lot were already friends prior to this, I'd assume y'all'd all the same be friends to some extent but it could make things bad-mannered I guess

If I liked someone and thought I had a shot with them I probably wouldnt desire to stick around to encounter them happy with someone else, but that's just me

While I agree that I don't think you should accept to be friends with someone after being rejected, being rejected is not a sign they don't think yous're good enough for them. One of my best friends is a guy I 'rejected' afterwards we first started being friends (I told him I totally got it if he didn't want to talk to me anymore but he'south e'er wanted to stay friends, and now he's one of my closest friends). Objectively he'southward a very attractive looking guy, his personality is amazing (I wouldn't be friends with him if he wasn't a lovely person) and I have no doubts that he would be the perfect boyfriend. Merely I just don't feel that way near him, and I can't help that.

(Original post past syrettd)
While I concur that I don't think you should accept to be friends with someone after existence rejected, being rejected is not a sign they don't recall y'all're good enough for them. 1 of my best friends is a guy I 'rejected' after nosotros offset started being friends (I told him I totally got it if he didn't want to talk to me anymore but he's always wanted to stay friends, and at present he'southward one of my closest friends). Considerately he'due south a very bonny looking guy, his personality is astonishing (I wouldn't exist friends with him if he wasn't a lovely person) and I have no doubts that he would exist the perfect boyfriend. But I merely don't feel that way about him, and I can't help that.

well that's fair plenty but surely non feeling that way most him is caused by some inadequacy that he lacks from what you deem "boyfriend fabric"?

I'm not maxim I wouldnt exist friends with a girl still, because if I had a good friend and fancied her simply she didn't fancy me obviously that's unfortunate but I cant do anything about it and wouldn't want to lose a friend.

but you go so many guys/girls become into a friendship thinking its something more, or maybe they gave every intention it was something more and the other person took it wrong isn't interested simply still wants them effectually, I hateful aye that's a nice matter and all but sometimes friendship only isn't an option, some people don't desire a friend outta someone

And I don't retrieve its so bad saying no if that's not what you wanted in the first place, but of form the aforementioned applies to the person existence asked but they shouldn't feel bad if the person says no to friends either

I always give people a chance to be friends later on rejecting, considering I recall that's fair - they shouldn't be punished for honesty (declaring their feelings).

However, if they aren't as interested in spending time with me, or want to avoid contact later on that I can understand. I don't think it'due south sour grapes, it's how some people need to move on.

Fugitive contact is far preferable to those types who stick around trying to act like they are your boyfriend, as though y'all have something romantic, keep trying to progress / enquire you lot out etc. That'due south not staying friends! And so basically, some people simply tin't be friends so they should just move on.

But I've also had the experience of someone beingness actually rude and unpleasant to me, merely because I didn't feel the aforementioned. Information technology is not okay to attempt to punish someone because they don't do what you lot want / share your feelings - that's the marker of someone really selfish and nasty.

(Original post by LukeM90)
well that's fair enough but surely non feeling that style about him is caused by some inadequacy that he lacks from what you deem "beau fabric"?

I'm not saying I wouldnt be friends with a daughter still, because if I had a proficient friend and fancied her just she didn't fancy me obviously that's unfortunate but I cant do anything most it and wouldn't want to lose a friend.

but you lot go and then many guys/girls get into a friendship thinking its something more, or maybe they gave every intention information technology was something more and the other person took it wrong isn't interested simply still wants them around, I mean yeah that's a nice affair and all but sometimes friendship just isn't an option, some people don't want a friend outta someone

And I don't think its then bad saying no if that'southward not what you lot wanted in the first identify, but of course the aforementioned applies to the person existence asked only they shouldn't feel bad if the person says no to friends either

I don't think he is in any way inadequate. If annihilation, I would fifty-fifty propose he was As well good for me. Whoever he dates next will truly be a lucky girl. I have even tried to get myself to like him in that way, I actually take, simply you tin't force a feeling that'due south not there. I'm sure most people can call up of someone that is bonny and has a squeamish personality, on paper everything they would want, just they but don't experience that way.

I wouldn't have felt bad if he said he didn't want to be friends with me, I'd accept peradventure been a little sad but I would accept understood.

(Original post by syrettd)
I don't recollect he is in any way inadequate. If anything, I would fifty-fifty suggest he was TOO practiced for me. Whoever he dates side by side will truly exist a lucky girl. I have even tried to go myself to similar him in that way, I really accept, but y'all tin can't force a feeling that'south not there. I'chiliad sure most people tin can think of someone that is attractive and has a nice personality, on paper everything they would desire, merely they just don't feel that style.

I wouldn't have felt bad if he said he didn't want to be friends with me, I'd have maybe been a footling sorry but I would take understood.

Fair plenty, I guess either way in full general things never always stop perfectly, I'grand sure like yourself many however have a good friendship, but many probably walked away

I'd walk abroad myself if I didnt see them as a friend just a dearest interest, I'd only stay if at that place was more than also information technology like a deep friendship prior to "feelings"

Of course information technology'due south okay.

If the rejected political party still wants to be friends that'due south dandy and well done them etc. but information technology'southward a tough affair to be dumped by someone: they are effectively proverb, at very best, that the relationship with me wasn't good enough to go the distance. That's hardly a brilliant foundation for a friendship.

Don't get me wrong, a friendship certainly is possible. It's only that people shouldn't feel whatsoever embarrassment about wanting a make clean break. Specially every bit such friendships take a lot of skill to master, whether information technology'south a recurrence of feelings or managing the anxieties of subsequent partners then on.

(Original mail service by LukeM90)
Off-white enough, I judge either fashion in general things never always cease perfectly, I'grand certain like yourself many still accept a practiced friendship, but many probably walked abroad

I'd walk abroad myself if I didnt see them equally a friend just a love interest, I'd only stay if there was more too it like a deep friendship prior to "feelings"

I don't recall I could be friends with someone I had feelings for, if the feelings were really strong. Mayhap after a while of little to no contact. I guess that'south why I told my friend that if he didn't want to talk to me anymore I completely understood.

(Original post by syrettd)
I don't recall I could be friends with someone I had feelings for, if the feelings were really potent. Peradventure subsequently a while of footling to no contact. I guess that's why I told my friend that if he didn't want to talk to me anymore I completely understood.

Well that was good of you, I'd probably be the same tbh don't know if I could only jump right in to beingness friends over again or non.

(Original post past syrettd)
I don't think he is in any manner inadequate. If anything, I would even suggest he was TOO good for me. Whoever he dates side by side volition truly be a lucky girl. I accept even tried to get myself to like him in that way, I really have, just you tin can't forcefulness a feeling that'south not there. I'm sure most people can think of someone that is bonny and has a nice personality, on paper everything they would want, but they just don't feel that way.

I wouldn't have felt bad if he said he didn't desire to be friends with me, I'd have maybe been a little sad but I would accept understood.

I disagree.

I think there is always a reason why you don't get that feeling if you lot retrieve nigh it hard enough. It'south just that most people can't be bothered to figure it out, and why would they, if they know information technology's not what they want. I've always found information technology interesting whenever someone who ticks all my boxes just doesn't involvement me in that way and and so far, even though sometimes information technology has taken far too long, I've managed to work it out.

Remaining friends equates to sideman behaviour.

I think information technology'southward probably a adequately negative thing to remain friends. Peoples' feelings don't switch off and the dynamic of the friendship will always be different.

I've been friend-rejected once, when I was younger, and trying to maintain a friendship was a huge waste of free energy and is emotionally quite a miserable feel, particularly when your friend gets with someone else. In that location's also the feeling in the back of your heed that you only want to stay friends because you notwithstanding take romantic feelings. Needless to say when I realised this was affecting me, I 'drifted away' and was much happier. I'd always do this now, and always endeavour to do the same if rejecting someone else.

I recollect it's quite poor manners to immediately vanish from the confront of the globe, but ultimately your friendship volition never be the same over again, and it'southward healthy for both parties to gradually part company. Otherwise it'll always be unbalanced, one of y'all will ever want more than, and information technology's not really skillful for anyone.

It all depends on how people react. If the person rejected feels it is improve not to be friends then that doesn't automatically mean they are bitter about the rejection. Not everyone can just switch their feelings off and it would could be very painful for them to stay friends with someone knowing they desire more just it isn't going to happen- in this case it could be very hard for them to deport like a friend. Ending the friendship out of self preservation isn't a sign of bitterness.

It definitely depends on how the person responds to the rejection. I got asked out by a friend a few years ago and I didn't fancy him, so I told him that I was sorry just I didn't want to get out with him, I just wanted to be friends. Things were a little awkward between us for a while only eventually he got over it and we were fine again. And then again, the same happened with one of my flatmates in showtime year in the 2d week and we barely spoke again because it was besides bad-mannered (peculiarly when I started going out with my boyfriend) and he still glares at me whenever I see him around on campus. I've never been in the position of wondering whether to stay friends with someone after being rejected though, I never got to a bespeak with the people I liked in the by where I would have considered telling them how I felt earlier realising that I didn't actually fancy them.

I remember you probably accept to give it fourth dimension for them to get over it then that things can become back to how they were, and be enlightened that they might never be the same over again. Sometimes knowing that someone wants to be more than than friends with y'all when you don't tin can brand you feel awkward around them, and sometimes it's too painful to stay friends knowing that the person doesn't want to be more than simply friends with y'all. At the stop of the day you can't force yourself to feel something for someone when it just isn't in that location, no matter how much you want to.

Information technology depends. If I could go over the physical attraction then perchance. If I was still attracted to them and they didn't fancy me. I'd discover it bad-mannered.

I think it'south ok, if you have a real infactuation being friends with someone isn't healthy.

Information technology's giddy to stay friends with someone who rejects y'all. Yous'll always want more than and would you really desire to see them dating other people?

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